Mistletoe
by Crack Pairing
Summary: What if Daolon Wong were happy to see that mistletoe? UnclexDaolonWong. Takes place during "A Jolly J-Team X-Mas"


I'm so sorry.

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Mistletoe

_What if Daolon Wong were happy to see that mistletoe?_

Uncle dives out of the way just in time to avoid Daolon Wong's powerful blast of dark chi magic. It ricochets off a nearby petrified elf and blasts a snow bank to smithereens, causing a light snow to fall around them. It might be romantic, Uncle thinks, if he weren't fighting his mortal enemy.

"This is getting quite annoying, Uncle," the dark chi wizard snarls. "If you don't let me steal the old fat man's energy, I might have to get serious."

"You will never steal Santa Claus' chi!" Uncle shouts. "And Uncle is not your uncle."

Daolon Wong gives a crooked grin and says, "Very well, _Uncle_. I did warn you."

Uncle's eye twitches to hear his name pass the dark chi wizard's lips again, but before he can shout some witty comeback Daolon Fong lifts his horn and begins an evil chant. Another wave of dark chi flies towards Uncle, but this time he's ready.

He lifts his dried salamander and begins to chant, "Yu Mo Gui Gwui Fai Di Zao! Yu Mo Gui Gwui Fai Di Zao! Yu Mo Gui Gwui Fai Di Zao!" over and over again, and a chi wave of his own flies out to meet Daolon Wong's. They struggle to break each other's defense, but even as Uncle begins to push Daolon Wong back it seems their power is evenly matched. As they pass under an archway Uncle looks up, and smiles inwardly.

It's the perfect distraction.

He lowers his energy field and puts his face mere inches from the dark chi wizard's, and, very calmly, he points up and says, "Mistletoe."

Daolon Wong shrieks and looks up, horrified, but when he looks back at Uncle there's a new look in his eyes. Without warning he lurches forward and throws his arms around Uncle, and, thinking that this must be some avant-garde martial arts move, Uncle moves to throw him off.

What happens next completely changes Uncle's definition of possible.

The dark chi wizard presses his lips to Uncle's and kisses him with a fiery burning passion, and Uncle freezes on the spot. Daolon Wong's tongue begs for entrance at Uncle's mouth, and Uncle doesn't know why, but he grants it.

A strange feeling fills the antique shop owner's stomach, and it isn't hatred, disgust, vomit or any of the other things he would have expected. He realizes that Daolon Wong is the retched scum that killed his master all those years ago, but he also realizes something else: He hasn't felt this way in a long time.

Throwing caution and sanity to the wind, Uncle returns the kiss and interlocks his fingers with Daolon Wong's luscious locks, pulling him close. This garners a delighted sound from Daolon Wong, and he slips a curious hand underneath Uncle's parka. His hands grow mouths and plant kisses on Uncle's spindly chest and along his collar bone, and Uncle knows without a doubt that this dark chi wizard is the one.

Suddenly they pull away from each other, panting and staring into each other's eyes.

"Uncle…" Daolon Wong whispers breathily, a seductive edge to his voice. Then he adds, "I know you're not my uncle."

"For you I'm anything," Uncle says, and then he reaches out and begins removing Daolon Wong's robes. Daolon Wong does the same to Uncle's parka.

Distantly they hear Santa murmur, "Oh my," and they know they're probably going to get put on the naughty list.

But neither of them cares.

* * *

Unbeknownst to the two old men, Jackie and Viper see the whole thing. They're hidden behind a snow bank at the top of the hill, Viper with an "Ugh. Men." look on her face and Jackie with a disturbed expression. It's so horrifying that he can't look away.

"Maybe it's some kind of ancient wrestling martial art," Viper says sarcastically, jabbing a thumb at the two geezers. This comment seems to snap Jackie out of his daze, and he suddenly gives a long, sharp scream and claps his hands over his eyes and burrows his face into the snow.

"I'm not calling him Auntie," he moans.

Viper snorts and rolls her eyes, and then she gives a low whistle. "So _that's_ why they call him Daolon Wong."

Jackie groans again. He sees many years' worth of therapy bills in his future.

**The End**

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So a friend of mine came to me and said "Can you believe people actually ship these two?" So naturally I had to write something about it.

And it'll never happen again.

Well, I'm off to take a shower to rid myself of this disgustingness. Review and let me know what you think. Until next time!


End file.
